thiDiscussion Dates: Friday 16th November to Friday 23rd November
1. What would you give this book out of 10. Why? GENEVIEVE: 9/10 I really enjoyed this book. I found it quite fascinating and it really made me think a lot about my own family and my own parenting! I found it easy to read and thought it was well written.
Michelle: 8/10. So easy to read and worthwhile. I googled her afterward and watched a few videos of her speaking about her book and she is so interesting.
Mel: 8.5/10. I did not want to read this book. So sick was I of memoirs of people with dysfunctional families (think Augusten Burrough's 'Running with Scissors' and David Sedaris's Naked) that I certainly didn't vote for this book. But thank you Michelle for nominating it and those of you who voted for it as I thoroughly enjoyed it. I actually found myself believing in Walls recall of events and caring about her and her family much more than I normally do when reading a memoir. I enjoyed her style and was suitably amazed by the way she was brought up (or rather brought herself up with the help of her siblings and occasional input from her parents).
Jane: 9/10. I, like Mel, was sceptical about another memoir, yet I loved this book. I thought it incredibly funny, touching, sad, disturbing, inspiring, thought-provoking... and lots of other cliche-type words that describe a bloody good book.
Sharyn 6.5/10. I did not really enjoy this book for the reasons that Mel and Jane initially thought that they would not like the book but ultimately did. I found it very depressing reading about the author's family life (particularly the early days when the kids were young, which made me so angry) and did not see the humour in the stories at all. As the book progressed, I found it heartening that Jeannette and (most of) her siblings were able to overcome the obstacles and carve out happy lives for themselves, so that made it a little less depressing for me. I thought the latter part of the book much more interesting in the sense that the author was grappling with the guilt and dilemma of having homeless parents and a comfortable existence. It's always an eye opener to see how there is such a fine line between poverty and homelessness and how people with a lot of talent can end up destitute (in that respect, the book had parallels with Being Flynn, a film with Robert DeNeiro that I saw earlier in the year).
Amy: 9/10 This book was a pleasure to read. Well written with many complex themes to wrestle with. At Michelle's prompting I watched a few Youtube clips over the weekend. This gave me a little further insight into her mother which was interesting.
Lynne: hmmmm, 4/10 because I need to learn something from the books I read, and I am not sure I learned too much here. It was like fiction.
Jaime: 7/10 from me. I found the first half a bit hard to read, wasn't sure of the chronology for some reason (could be I was distracted) and some of it felt not directional enough. I enjoyed the second half more, perhaps because she was older and I was interested to see what became of her, how she triumphed was more interesting for me.
Lara: 8/10: I enjoyed this book much more than I originally thought I would. It was my third choice in the original voting, but in the end, I'm really glad to have been given the push from Book Club to read it. I thought it took quite a bit of bravery for Jeannette Walls to detail her unconventional adolescence - especially given that there were so many incidents that crossed socially acceptable lines. It was engaging and thought-provoking.
2. Though The Glass Castle is brimming with unforgettable stories, which scenes were the most memorable for you? Which were the most shocking, the most inspiring, the funniest?
GENEVIEVE: The scene where she is in the taxi going to the fancy party and sees her mother going through the rubbish bin was powerful. Also the squalid conditions they lived in on the mountain and the gruesome grandmother were memorable for me. I also liked the story in the desert where her dad gave her a star as a present.
Michelle: I found her mother's 'addiction to reading' pretty funny - some days it would be so lovely to ignore your children, your job, etc etc and just lie in bed and read, and blame it on a condition! I found the stories around her parents reaction to the sexual encounters in the book quite confronting - her dad thinking it would be fine to let her fend for herself with a strange man, and her mother saying that if the creepy masturbating uncle didn't hurt her it wasn't a problem. Both situations I would have found terrifying but maybe her parents have a point about not making them an issue?? I don't know.
Mel: The scene that really stands out for me is when the kids are all at home starving hungry and the realise that their mum has a whole block of choclate under the quilt that she is eating herself and not sharing with them. As a parent I can hardly think of anything worse than not being able to feed my boys, and for a mother to have food and be so selfish/self serving/childish as to not share it with her children almost defies belief. And this goes even further as the mum could have sold all that land and they would have never had any financial problems. Walls parents CHOOSE to live in abject poverty and that is, I think, what makes this story stand apart from millions of other hard luck stories, and makes it all the more horrifying.
Jane: There are many scenes which stand out for me, a couple of which are mentioned above. I loved the time when Walls' father decides one year at Christmas to give each of the children a star in the sky (mentioned by Genevieve above). I loved the way he takes them outside separately and lays beside them on the ground looking up at the night. Ah, so beautiful and I would be doing this with my kids (if I had them). I think these episodes are why the children, even though they live such an outrageous and poor life most of the time, are so rich in terms of their creativity, their imaginations, their humour and their inherent love for each other and their parents.
I also was really struck by the scene in which the kids are stuck in the back of a hire truck (looking after the baby) while their parents are sitting comfortably up the front. It is so outrageous and so neglectful but the story is told in such a clever and casual way that it becomes almost comical.
I think it is interesting that a strong focus of the answers above is the neglect of the children and the poverty of the parents.. because I actually think that the parents were so free, so wild, so creative, so 'arty', so lovably dysfunctional and this is why (apart from the youngest child who obviously has her issue) turned out to be pretty incredible people.
Sharyn: The scenes that were the most memorable for me were the stories of parental neglect: Jeannette catching on fire when she was cooking her own hotdogs at three years of age because no-one else would feed her, the mother eating a chocolate bar under the covers while the kids went hungry and the countless heartbreaking stories of the father spending the last of the money on booze. The most touching scene for me was the father's enthusiasm when Jeannette interviewed the WW2 pilot for her school newspaper and how he helped her research the background, prepare the interview questions and write the article. Through that scene, you can see why she had a soft spot for her dad.
Amy: There were many scenes I found shocking. In particular the chocolate scene Mel mentioned, the scene where J discovered the shattered money box and the pub scene where Rex Walls pawned Jeannette (his 'special girl') off to be used as sexual fodder. I was inspired by the love and support shared between the siblings. Most notably Jeannette's bargain to get her sister to NYC. I loved how they worked together to save money, encouraged one another and gave each other hope for the future. Sad that the younger sister who at one stage looked like she was being 'rescued' by her friends eventually lost her way.
Lynne: like Sharyn, I found this book so depressing. I can't get past the uncle with his hand in his pants while Jeannette was waiting for her turn to have a bath. That house was POISON!
Jaime: The piggy bank scene upset me. I really don't know how Jeanette can be so forgiving of her parents selfishness.
Lara: One of the strengths of this book was that there were so many memorable scenes. Perhaps part of that is because it was such a different upbringing to my own. I agree that the scene where Jeannette sees her mother rummaging through a dumpster was very powerful and got me into the book from the start. The hot dogs incident and then the hospital check out Rex-Walls-style summed up both the uncomfortable/horrific aspect of the book combined with the charismatic, fun-loving almost joyful angle. There were plenty of disturbing scenes - the rat coming so close to Maureen's face in West Virginia is another one that stands out to me (in addition to the house literally falling apart in Arizona, her dad having her play wing man and allowing her to go upstairs alone with that disgusting man, her dad asking her for money when she was trying to work her budget, the broken piggy bank, her mom's refusal to go to work, etc.) but the redeeming part of the book were the loving scenes (walking in the desert with her dad and siblings, his present of the stars/Venus, the sense of adventure with each move, the ingenuity in poverty with their furniture/lodging, riding bikes in Arizona, Lori getting glasses, her mom trying to make the best of things, working together to get the money to go to NY). I felt the book to be full of surprises and insight into another completely different way of life.
3. Discuss the metaphor of a glass castle and what it signifies to Jeannette and her father. Why is it important that, just before leaving for New York, Jeannette tells her father that she doesn't believe he'll ever build it? (p. 238).
GENEVIEVE: I guess it is a final rejection of his fantasy world.
Michelle: I found that bit quite heartbreaking. I think it signifies her becoming an independent adult, and seeing her parents for who they are, and having to relinquish her own childish dreams of a happy ever after.
Mel: Yes a final realization that she was going to have to make her own way in the world and dream her own dreams as her parents dreams were never going to be a reality.
Amy: I think it signifies hope for the future for both Jeannette and her father. Jeannette seemed to cling to this hope longer than her brother and sister. I figured this was one of her survival mechanisms she used to cope with her situation. Eventually she sees the 'truth' of who her father is and realises she must relinquish this pipe dream in order for her to move forward, make her own dreams and see them become a reality.
Lynne: the glass castle was part of their escapism and Jeannette needed to let her father know that she had grown beyond that and needed to face reality by moving to NY.
Jaime: It's that thing when you say out loud what you have been harbouring deep inside... It means you have to move on.
4. The first story Walls tells of her childhood is that of her burning herself severely at age three, and her father dramatically takes her from the hospital: "You're safe now" (p. 14). Why do you think she opens with that story, and how does it set the stage for the rest of the memoir?
GENEVIEVE: Well it is a shocking story and obviously she is safer in the hospital than with them as she was so unsupervised. But on the other hand you have to admire the level of independence and initiative that experiences such as this gave Jeannette.
Michelle: To me that story highlights their unique style of crazy, and their lovely strong family bond - as if there was nothing worse than being apart.
Mel: It encapsulates just how reckless the Walls parents were with their kids safety, but yet also demonstrates that being with her parents and siblings was exactly what Jannette n wanted.
Jane: I think Walls had that sort of hero worship that many girls have for their dads. It demonstrates that her dad was reckless, but still had an incredible love for his family and tried to do what he thought was right (even though he was so off the mark).
Sharyn: I think that scene illustrates just how delusional and irresponsible the parents (and in particular the father) were in the sense that they thought their way of life was best for the kids and thought that they were on some higher intellectual and spiritual level than everyone else. As parents, they were unconventional and anti-authoritarian and had an 'us versus them' mentality.
Amy: This story reveals how irresponsible Jeannette's parents are and their obscure mentality towards the rest of the world.
Jaime: It demonstrates to me one of Rex's great strengths, creating a bond that considering the circumstances should not be there, from his charisma and penchant for the dramatic.
Lara: I think that despite everything (and there was certainly a lot), it demonstrates that she believes her parents, and in particular, her dad loved her and tried to protect her in his way. It highlights the contradictions rife in her background.
5. Rex Walls often asked his children, "Have I ever let you down?" Why was this question (and the required "No, Dad" response) so important for him — and for his kids? On what occasions did he actually come through for them?
Michelle: I'm not sure that he ever really came through for them. Maybe a few times in the early days, like when he bought the bikes? And detoxed? Rex Walls was such a sad character - he didn't want to be what he was, and hated himself for it.
Mel: Starting a detox and getting the kids hopes up for a sober dad only to go back to the bottle was the biggest let down in my opinion. Financially he did come through for Jeannette quite late in the piece when she didn't think that she would have enough for her tuition. Makes you wonder why he couldn't have contributed more often throughout the years if he was able to find the money on that occasion.
Jane: I think he came through for them in many ways even though he had his demons. Alcoholism is a disease and I think it is easy to admonish people for 'going back to the bottle.' I think he tried, I really do think that. I think he loved his family to bits, but was just so flawed that he couldn't carry out his promises on so many occasions. But I did love some of the things he did (like the Christmas star thing that I've mentioned above).
Sharyn: Despite his unconventional ways, I think that the father viewed himself in the traditional way as the head of the family and the provider. He desperately wanted his kids to affirm that role time and time again so that he could continue living this lie to himself and in the process retain some sort of dignity and self respect. As Jane said, I think he tried because he loved his family but he was just too flawed. As Mel said, he did come through with Jeannette when he gave her the money so that she could finish college.
Amy: It was important for Rex's survival that his kids believed in him. I believe he wanted to provide for them and be a good father but most often his alcoholism got the better of him creating a huge amount of shame that only served to perpetuate his condition. Despite this I believe Rex taught his kids to hope and dream for the future, he instilled a great love of learning, taught them to read and encouraged them to explore nature, astronomy. Interesting that Jeannette in one of her interviews attributes a strong self esteem to her father as well.
Jaime: I hated that he made his kids do this although I acknowledge it was necessary for the emotional wellbeing of all concerned. His lack of acknowledgment of his significant failings over and over was to me almost worse than the failings themselves.
6. Jeannette's mother insists that, no matter what, "life with your father was never boring" (p. 288). What kind of man was Rex Walls? What were his strengths and weaknesses, his flaws and contradictions?
GENEVIEVE: He was a fascinating character, a charming rogue. It was touching how Jeannette was his great defender despite that fact he let her down so often.
Michelle: I wonder if he was really actually an autodidact or just gave the impression of it? Did he really know all the things he claimed to? Was he even a good electrician? I couldn't quite figure that out about him - so i guess part of his charm was his mystery.
Mel: Rex appears as a complex and tortured man. Jeannette allures to the idea that her dad may have been sexually abused by his own mother, and based on what she presents of him she is very possibly correct. Jeannette writes about him in a loving manner for the vast majority of the book and for the most part he does come across as a 'charming rogue' as Gen says. However, I can't help but feel a distinct lack of sympathy for a man who chooses to keep his family in abject poverty and is comfortable with practically pimping out his daughter to earn a few bucks.
Jane: Agreed, I think he was an absolutely fascinating character - flawed, mad, imaginative, creative, charming, naughty, frustrating. As I said before I think he had his demons but I think he loved his kids and his wife. I don't think being poor money wise actually did the most harm... in fact I am of the opinion that if kids get everything given to them on a platter that it is not necessarily a good thing.
Lynne: Rex was probably abused in his childhood so he was behind the 8 ball in that respect. I think he was a great storyteller and a great bluffer and his naive children/wife believed everything he told them. He was a total bastard for drinking all their money away and leaving the kids starving, living in squalor etc. I did not like him at all.
Lara: To me he was the ultimate flawed hero. Jeannette always wanted to believe in him as he was larger than life and they had a special bond, but in the end his flaws were too great to truly allow her to rely on him as a parent. Their relationship was beautiful in many ways, but that made his sad descent into being the complete child in the relationship even harder to handle.
7. Discuss Rose Mary Walls. What did you think about her description of herself as an "excitement addict"? (p. 93).
GENEVIEVE: She was also fascinating but I found her less likeable than the father. I am not sure why this is as they were equally as negligent as parents, maybe it was because she was so the opposite of what a 'mother' should be.
Michelle: I had thought of her as a women dominated by her husband, and she didn't seem to have a lot of charm or 'fun' stories in the book. But I watched a youtube clip of Jeannette with her and realised that she was really quite odd herself.
Mel: I thought that her description of herself as an 'excitement addict' was such a pathetic excuse for living in a childish existence when she was an adult with real and important responsibilities. She was less likable than Rex, but of course men just 'get away' with so much more. So where as Rex could get away with his antics to an extent because he was a 'tortured genius', Rose Mary came across as uncaring and irresponsible.
Jane: I second Genevieve's statement word for word.
Sharyn: Wow, I am surprised everyone thinks the father was more likeable than the mother! Notwithstanding his lovable qualities, he was a man who visited prostitutes, tried to prostitute his daughter, behaved violently and threatening towards his wife, left his children alone in the care of his mother who (we assume) sexually abused him as a child, spent all the family money on alcohol and was a largely absent father. The mother was by no stretch of the imagination a role model parent, but I thought she was slightly more reliable than the father and tried a bit harder to support the family (e.g. by pursuing her artistry and taking on teaching roles from time to time). She was more industrious than the father (the house was always filled with artwork) and she had a positive effect on one of the siblings (Lori) who pursued a career in art. Although it was misguided, I thought the little pep talks / life lessons that she would give the kids were amusing (e.g. telling Jeannette 'good for you for getting back in the saddle' after the fire incident).
Genevieve: Yes it is weird when you put it like that Sharyn! But I thought that because the dad seems to have genuine affection for the children (especially Jeannette) whereas the mother just seemed so horrifyingly selfish.
Amy: I wonder whether she has a narcissistic personality disorder? It would be interesting to read Jeannette's next book which I believe is about her Grandmother. It might explain her mother a little better. Her comment about being an 'excitement addict' just seems so irresponsible and childish. There were however a few times throughout the book that I appreciated her optimistic perspective on things.
Jane: Oh, it does sound odd with that description, Sharyn. But I still had greater empathy for the father. Amy, I do think she has narcissistic tendencies. It irked me that she kept kind of blaming the kids on the fact that she wasn't a famous and successful artist as though they'd held her back.
Lynne: another person to dislike. Selfishly buying art supplies instead of food. Ughh, don't get me started!
Jaime: I didn't like either of her parents but found them equally flawed. Her mother was very childlike to me. I guess somehow I hoped that her Mum would at some point make a change for a better life for her children but I never expected that from Rex as he was so clearly a lost cause. To Mel's point I am not sure if that is because men get away with more or if it is because I feel women are the ones more likely to do 'the right' thing with less self interest.
Lara: As I read the book I never felt as close to the mother as I did the father, but I think that's largely because that is how Jeannette herself felt too. I appreciated her creativity, optimism and "tough love" at times, but it also was so extreme and naive at times that I couldn't handle it. I thought it was interesting when Rex ended up asking Jeannette for money repeatedly and she saw what her mom had been dealing with over the years. I did find it so frustrating when her mom wouldn't get out of bed to go to her teaching job - which would have at least brought in money for the family. She frustrated me, as did Rex, but almost more because of what she didn't do than what he did do.
8. Though it portrays an incredibly hardscrabble life, The Glass Castle is never sad or depressing. Discuss the tone of the book, and how do you think that Walls achieved that effect?
GENEVIEVE: Yes I though that was an impressive achievement and also how she did not really judge her parents actions she just let them speak for themsselves and you had to imagine their impact.
Michelle: I think Jeannette maintains a positive feeling because throughout everything they really always stuck together. Her parents did genuinely love each other and their children - they just did everything differently to 'normal'.
Mel: And this is where I get confused in my generally hardline unsympathetic view of Jeannette's parents, because it was very possibly her life with them that helped instill in her the optimistic and grounded world view that makes this book not fall into a woe is me monologue.
Jane: I think Walls has a natural writing style that is quite upbeat. This could have been a very different book if she had a 'woe is me, I had a horrible upbringing' type voice. But she didn't. She is funny in the telling of her sometimes unbelievable stories. And I think she appreciates certain aspects of her life. It was certainly pretty exciting at times, despite the neglect.
Amy: It was such an enjoyable read and I thought Walls's decision to write through the non-judgemental eyes of a child set the tone. Interesting listening to her being interviewed that she attempted writing her story over 3 decades.
Lynne: all I could tune into was the misery. I struggled to find light or joy in this book. Perhaps some 'relief' at the end when the 3 oldest kids seemed to be able to make sense of their lives but this was countered by Maureen falling apart.
Jaime: Is it true to say that the book or their lives are never sad or depressing? I really don't think so! The narrative is not self pitying but that doesn't make it less sad for me.
Lara; I liked Jane's point on this above. In the book and in some of the online interviews, I think Jeannette has come to terms with her upbringing and while she sees the flaws, has moved on and realises that it makes her who she is today. I liked seeing Rose Mary in two of the videos because it seems like Jeannette has become closer to her mother and at least tries to understand her although they will always be very different.
9 Describe Jeannette's relationship to her siblings and discuss the role they played in one another's lives.
GENEVIEVE: The relationship Jeannette has with her brother is very touchingly portrayed. Clearly they were all damaged by their childhood experiences.
Michelle: The three older siblings seem to have survived because of each other and their unique bond - but there isn't much said about the youngest girl. I wouldn't be surprised if her perspective on things was completely different.
Mel: What a beautiful relationship she had with her brother in particular. I found it especially touching when he saved up money so that his two big sisters could 'escape' to New York even though he wasn't going with them yet. Interesting that he ended up as a policeman. The exact type of person that his dad hated. Why the Walls kept having children is beyond me seeing as though they really didn't give them the time and love and security that they needed - but thank goodness that they did - imagine being an only child with those two as your parents. Unbearable.
Jane: Yep, Michelle, I agree. I feel as though the older kids had to stick by each other to combat the craziness of their parents. They provide stability for eachother amidst the madness.
Genevieve: Also the youngest one seemed to really have suffered the most and was the most neglected which explains why she is estranged.
Mel: Yes, by the time Maureen was born the adventure was over and it was just etching out the tough life in West Virginia. Rex was absent most of the time and drunk when he was home, and Rose was totally in her own selfish world, so Maureen spent all her time at friends houses. She was not connected to the family in the same way as the older kids were.
Amy: Jeannette seemed to have such a healthy admiration for her sister; her beauty, intelligence and artistic talent. I thought she seemed closest to her brother and was disappointed and felt guilty for not taking better care of Maureen. Jeannette assumed what 'should' have been Rose Mary's responsibility. A huge burden for Jeannette to bear when so young.
Lynne: thank god they had each other. To see how close she was to her siblings was probably the nicest part of the book.
Jaime: Agree with Lynne.
Lara: Agree with many of the sentiments above. Brian and Jeannette had a very special bond and it was beautiful to see them work through things together. In many ways though, I think it was her relationship with Lori, whose relationship with Rose Mary was a mirror of Jeannette's relationship with Rex, that was the most interesting - I think they got closer as they got older and realised that they had to take the leadership roles in the family.
10. In college, Jeannette is singled out by a professor for not understanding the plight of homeless people; instead of defending herself, she keeps quiet. Why do you think she does this?
GENEVIEVE: She is embarrassed by her story and also it is hard to explain as it seems just too unlikely.
Mel: She is embarrassed and probably also protective of her upbringing. It is hard enough for her to make sense of, let alone have others critique at an intellectual, abstract level.
Jane: Too long a story, I reckon. Maybe that's why she wrote this book - to tell the professor to stick it up her arse and not judge people on first appearances. We all have pasts after all.
Genevieve: I like this theory Jane! It is interesting that the author included it and obviously this incident hurt her and she remembered it well.
Amy: I think at that point in time, shame is what keeps her quiet. This shame is apparently why she took 3 decades to write the book.
Lynne: I just watched Oprah on Youtube talking about how you should "tell your secret so you can let the shame out, because shame acts like a veil that blocks you from being true to you"...or some other self-help mumbo jumbo. I think I watched the wrong Youtube clips!
Jaime: I think she already felt quite self conscious about being different from other college students so the last thing she wanted to do was to highlight it. Also perhaps because she realised her views on homelessness were coloured by her parents and they were not representative of all homeless people?
11. The two major pieces of the memoir — one half set in the desert and one half in West Virginia — feel distinct. What effect did such a big move have on the family — and on your reading of the story? How would you describe the shift in the book's tone?
GENEVIEVE: I found the section where the parents left them in Virginia very upsetting as their life their seemed so much worse and more depressing coompared to when they lived in the desert.
Michelle: Yes the book shifted to be much darker and unhappy, much like the description of the weather and town. But perhaps it also reflected Jeannette becoming older and more aware of her parents deficiencies? Her younger years seemed happier by contrast but that could be because she was a young child who assumed her parents were doing the right thing for her? Surely it wasn't actually that nice sweltering in a rotted out house surrounded by gangs, maybe the cabin in the mountain had fresh air and trees?
Mel: I agree with Michelle that the years spent in West Virginia was when Jeannette was at an age to understand that there life wasn't normal and really wasn't ok. What a hell hole that town was. I kept urging Rex and Rose to do a 'skaddadle' but they really got stuck there.
Jane: Yes, I think the earlier times were more exciting, more adventurous for the children. It seemed like they were all in it together. West Virginia was different in that they all seemed a bit stuck and that hole was what life was going to be. Rex's family in West Virginia were nasty pieces of work and meeting them did help explain Rex's behaviour a bit more. I did love the description of the decrepit house they all lived in once they'd moved from Rex's family's hellhole.
Genevieve: Jane I agree the description of the house as it fell down around them was very vivid, I could almost smell the rotting damp!!
Lynne: there was a huge change, almost like falling out of the frying pan and into the depths of hell. West Virginia was such a bad place for all of them, especially Rex. When he and Rosemary left to go back to Arizona to get some stuff I honestly thought they would not come back. Their life in the desert at least had some good parts and they seemed much happier there. West Virginia was dark and cold and depressing and small-minded and I had a feeling that they were doomed from the minute they arrived. I was pleased to see them all prove me wrong and get out of there eventually.
Lara: Do you think that they would have ended up in New York if they hadn't had to deal with Welch? It was really like two separate books. In Welch, you see how bad it really gets for the family and the making of Jeannette's steely determination to get out.
12. Were you surprised to learn that, as adults, Jeannette and her siblings remained close to their parents? Why do you think this is?
GENEVIEVE: No I wasn't really surprised as you could see they were always close in an unconventional way. Their parents clearly loved them.
Michelle: I was surprised. It seemed like Jeannette was a totally different person in New York. I imagine writing the book would have helped her become closer to her parents.
Mel: Even though I was appalled at how the Walls treated their children on many occasions, I was not really surprised that they all (except for the youngest) remained in contact. I guess that I just cannot fathom estrangement, although of course I know that it does happen.
Jane: There was always love in the Walls family.
Lynne: Yeah, it is surprising. It would have been very easy to grow resentful and then cut them off all together (probably what I would do!), so credit to them for understanding that theirs was a unique situation and there was more to be gained from forgiveness than condemnation. I still think I would have condemned them...
Jaime: Yes, I was suprised. I am with Lynne on this.
Lara: I thought it was indicative of the family bond when the parents show up in New York. I think Jeannette struggled to figure out how to deal with and relate to her parents there, but she also had a strong sense of loyalty despite all the hardships.
13. What character traits — both good and bad — do you think that Jeannette inherited from her parents? And how do you think those traits shaped Jeannette's life?
Michelle: She seems to be a charming storyteller like Rex. I really liked her parents questioning about who she was, and their being unimpressed with her fancy apartment and lots of money - and how she took that on board and wrote the book.
Jane: Storytelling, creativity, arts!
Lynne: resilience, optimism, acceptance and whatever the opposite of snobbery is.
14. For many reviewers and readers, the most extraordinary thing about The Glass Castle is that, despite everything, Jeannette Walls refuses to condemn her parents. Were you able to be equally nonjudgmental?
GENEVIEVE: It was pretty hard to not be shocked by some of the things that happened. But on the other hand it was fascinating to read an account so opposite to the millions of books/blogs that exist today about how to be a good parent !
Michelle: I felt like I am doing an AWESOME job at being a mum!!!! I am able to be nonjudgmental about her parents as i can see that Jeannette is ok now. However, if I knew them when they were kids and saw how they lived I know I would be very, very judgmental.
Mel: Jeannette briefly mentions that there was another baby who died at 9 months. The children were told that it was 'cot death'. In my mind I see a neglectful situation reminiscent (but not quite as harrowing) as the dead baby scene in "Trainspotting". So yeah, I judged.
Jane: Knowing how she turned out, I kind of admire them all in a way. I admire the kids sticking together. I admire the parents going against the grain, being a bit mad. I just don't know what makes a good parent really - obviously the Walls parents did some outrageous things, but they also exposed their children to some very decent aspects of life - lack of materialism, adventure, imagination, the ability to not care about image and what other people think.
Genevieve: Yes Jane I agree. Rex reminded me somewhat of stories I have heard about my grandfather- a schemer, dreamer, philosopher, inventor, self-taught scientist and engineer and storyteller with a passion for learning and a rejection of a conventional life. However for my dad this meant a itinerent childhood of poverty and as a result he craved predictability and control. I gave this book to my mum to read and it reminded her a lot of her father (my other grandfather), a big drinking, big hearted, great storytelling but unpredictable man who loved his family above all but didn't always do the best by them. So anyway all this family history made me think that maybe this book captures the story of many men of that generation.
Jane: Ok, Genevieve, that is your cue to write about your grandfather!
Lynne: see answer to 12.
Jaime: I judged them. Not finding the strength to move beyond thinking only of your own needs and whims when you are responsible for children is unforgivable in my eyes... recall I am not a parent so maybe not qualified to make that bold statement?
Amy: I too judged them for their neglectful and selfish parenting. At the same time I admired them for those decent aspects Jane mentions above.
Lara: I tried to be fair in line with Jeannette - of course she judged too and made her choice to get out, but she also saw beauty and admired certain aspects of her upbringing. There were a few situations though that I don't know how you couldn't judge both as a parent as simply as a human being. I was also struck often by how you never really know what happened in someone else's life to bring them to where they are today. If you just met Jeannette Walls in a business setting, you would have no idea of her journey and that's what I love about memoirs.
Jane: Love this sentiment, Lara. All the judgement should come down to Jeannette - she is the one that lived it.
15. Is there anything else that you would like to say/ask about the book that has not been addressed in the questions above? Michelle: I've tried discussing this book with a few American friends and discovered that the words 'Glass Castle' make me very aware of my Australian drawl! I feel like I'm saying Glarrrrrrrsssss Carrrrstle and even though I try, I can't pronounce it any other way! Embarrassing. Mel: Hmmm perplexing... how you do say Glass Castle Lara? I have just said it out loud 10 times and do sound a lot like Pauline Hanson (terrifyingly red neck ex Australian politician)
Lynne: I think I may have been a bit harsh on the book. Forgive me. They really are an amazing bunch of kids to have survived that upbringing.
Lara: Too funny. I think we could post some videos of us all saying "Glass Castle". I recommend stressing the "ass" in 'Glass' and "Cas-" for a true American effect. Thanks for the honest and insightful comments. If I ever finished a book early, I'd be interested in reading Wall's most recent book, "Broken Horses" about her mother's mother in Arizona in the 30's/40's - she sounds like a bit of a badass. Also, the Glass Castle movie comes out in December so there's another reason I'm glad to have read the book now.
Jane: There is going to be a movie? Wow. I really hope they get the casting right.
1. What would you give this book out of 10. Why?
GENEVIEVE: 9/10
I really enjoyed this book. I found it quite fascinating and it really made me think a lot about my own family and my own parenting! I found it easy to read and thought it was well written.
Michelle: 8/10. So easy to read and worthwhile. I googled her afterward and watched a few videos of her speaking about her book and she is so interesting.
Mel: 8.5/10. I did not want to read this book. So sick was I of memoirs of people with dysfunctional families (think Augusten Burrough's 'Running with Scissors' and David Sedaris's Naked) that I certainly didn't vote for this book. But thank you Michelle for nominating it and those of you who voted for it as I thoroughly enjoyed it. I actually found myself believing in Walls recall of events and caring about her and her family much more than I normally do when reading a memoir. I enjoyed her style and was suitably amazed by the way she was brought up (or rather brought herself up with the help of her siblings and occasional input from her parents).
Jane: 9/10. I, like Mel, was sceptical about another memoir, yet I loved this book. I thought it incredibly funny, touching, sad, disturbing, inspiring, thought-provoking... and lots of other cliche-type words that describe a bloody good book.
Sharyn 6.5/10. I did not really enjoy this book for the reasons that Mel and Jane initially thought that they would not like the book but ultimately did. I found it very depressing reading about the author's family life (particularly the early days when the kids were young, which made me so angry) and did not see the humour in the stories at all. As the book progressed, I found it heartening that Jeannette and (most of) her siblings were able to overcome the obstacles and carve out happy lives for themselves, so that made it a little less depressing for me. I thought the latter part of the book much more interesting in the sense that the author was grappling with the guilt and dilemma of having homeless parents and a comfortable existence. It's always an eye opener to see how there is such a fine line between poverty and homelessness and how people with a lot of talent can end up destitute (in that respect, the book had parallels with Being Flynn, a film with Robert DeNeiro that I saw earlier in the year).
Amy: 9/10 This book was a pleasure to read. Well written with many complex themes to wrestle with. At Michelle's prompting I watched a few Youtube clips over the weekend. This gave me a little further insight into her mother which was interesting.
Lynne: hmmmm, 4/10 because I need to learn something from the books I read, and I am not sure I learned too much here. It was like fiction.
Jaime: 7/10 from me. I found the first half a bit hard to read, wasn't sure of the chronology for some reason (could be I was distracted) and some of it felt not directional enough. I enjoyed the second half more, perhaps because she was older and I was interested to see what became of her, how she triumphed was more interesting for me.
Lara: 8/10: I enjoyed this book much more than I originally thought I would. It was my third choice in the original voting, but in the end, I'm really glad to have been given the push from Book Club to read it. I thought it took quite a bit of bravery for Jeannette Walls to detail her unconventional adolescence - especially given that there were so many incidents that crossed socially acceptable lines. It was engaging and thought-provoking.
2. Though The Glass Castle is brimming with unforgettable stories, which scenes were the most memorable for you? Which were the most shocking, the most inspiring, the funniest?
GENEVIEVE: The scene where she is in the taxi going to the fancy party and sees her mother going through the rubbish bin was powerful. Also the squalid conditions they lived in on the mountain and the gruesome grandmother were memorable for me. I also liked the story in the desert where her dad gave her a star as a present.
Michelle: I found her mother's 'addiction to reading' pretty funny - some days it would be so lovely to ignore your children, your job, etc etc and just lie in bed and read, and blame it on a condition! I found the stories around her parents reaction to the sexual encounters in the book quite confronting - her dad thinking it would be fine to let her fend for herself with a strange man, and her mother saying that if the creepy masturbating uncle didn't hurt her it wasn't a problem. Both situations I would have found terrifying but maybe her parents have a point about not making them an issue?? I don't know.
Mel: The scene that really stands out for me is when the kids are all at home starving hungry and the realise that their mum has a whole block of choclate under the quilt that she is eating herself and not sharing with them. As a parent I can hardly think of anything worse than not being able to feed my boys, and for a mother to have food and be so selfish/self serving/childish as to not share it with her children almost defies belief. And this goes even further as the mum could have sold all that land and they would have never had any financial problems. Walls parents CHOOSE to live in abject poverty and that is, I think, what makes this story stand apart from millions of other hard luck stories, and makes it all the more horrifying.
Jane: There are many scenes which stand out for me, a couple of which are mentioned above. I loved the time when Walls' father decides one year at Christmas to give each of the children a star in the sky (mentioned by Genevieve above). I loved the way he takes them outside separately and lays beside them on the ground looking up at the night. Ah, so beautiful and I would be doing this with my kids (if I had them). I think these episodes are why the children, even though they live such an outrageous and poor life most of the time, are so rich in terms of their creativity, their imaginations, their humour and their inherent love for each other and their parents.
I also was really struck by the scene in which the kids are stuck in the back of a hire truck (looking after the baby) while their parents are sitting comfortably up the front. It is so outrageous and so neglectful but the story is told in such a clever and casual way that it becomes almost comical.
I think it is interesting that a strong focus of the answers above is the neglect of the children and the poverty of the parents.. because I actually think that the parents were so free, so wild, so creative, so 'arty', so lovably dysfunctional and this is why (apart from the youngest child who obviously has her issue) turned out to be pretty incredible people.
Sharyn: The scenes that were the most memorable for me were the stories of parental neglect: Jeannette catching on fire when she was cooking her own hotdogs at three years of age because no-one else would feed her, the mother eating a chocolate bar under the covers while the kids went hungry and the countless heartbreaking stories of the father spending the last of the money on booze. The most touching scene for me was the father's enthusiasm when Jeannette interviewed the WW2 pilot for her school newspaper and how he helped her research the background, prepare the interview questions and write the article. Through that scene, you can see why she had a soft spot for her dad.
Amy: There were many scenes I found shocking. In particular the chocolate scene Mel mentioned, the scene where J discovered the shattered money box and the pub scene where Rex Walls pawned Jeannette (his 'special girl') off to be used as sexual fodder. I was inspired by the love and support shared between the siblings. Most notably Jeannette's bargain to get her sister to NYC. I loved how they worked together to save money, encouraged one another and gave each other hope for the future. Sad that the younger sister who at one stage looked like she was being 'rescued' by her friends eventually lost her way.
Lynne: like Sharyn, I found this book so depressing. I can't get past the uncle with his hand in his pants while Jeannette was waiting for her turn to have a bath. That house was POISON!
Jaime: The piggy bank scene upset me. I really don't know how Jeanette can be so forgiving of her parents selfishness.
Lara: One of the strengths of this book was that there were so many memorable scenes. Perhaps part of that is because it was such a different upbringing to my own. I agree that the scene where Jeannette sees her mother rummaging through a dumpster was very powerful and got me into the book from the start. The hot dogs incident and then the hospital check out Rex-Walls-style summed up both the uncomfortable/horrific aspect of the book combined with the charismatic, fun-loving almost joyful angle. There were plenty of disturbing scenes - the rat coming so close to Maureen's face in West Virginia is another one that stands out to me (in addition to the house literally falling apart in Arizona, her dad having her play wing man and allowing her to go upstairs alone with that disgusting man, her dad asking her for money when she was trying to work her budget, the broken piggy bank, her mom's refusal to go to work, etc.) but the redeeming part of the book were the loving scenes (walking in the desert with her dad and siblings, his present of the stars/Venus, the sense of adventure with each move, the ingenuity in poverty with their furniture/lodging, riding bikes in Arizona, Lori getting glasses, her mom trying to make the best of things, working together to get the money to go to NY). I felt the book to be full of surprises and insight into another completely different way of life.
3. Discuss the metaphor of a glass castle and what it signifies to Jeannette and her father. Why is it important that, just before leaving for New York, Jeannette tells her father that she doesn't believe he'll ever build it? (p. 238).
GENEVIEVE: I guess it is a final rejection of his fantasy world.
Michelle: I found that bit quite heartbreaking. I think it signifies her becoming an independent adult, and seeing her parents for who they are, and having to relinquish her own childish dreams of a happy ever after.
Mel: Yes a final realization that she was going to have to make her own way in the world and dream her own dreams as her parents dreams were never going to be a reality.
Amy: I think it signifies hope for the future for both Jeannette and her father. Jeannette seemed to cling to this hope longer than her brother and sister. I figured this was one of her survival mechanisms she used to cope with her situation. Eventually she sees the 'truth' of who her father is and realises she must relinquish this pipe dream in order for her to move forward, make her own dreams and see them become a reality.
Lynne: the glass castle was part of their escapism and Jeannette needed to let her father know that she had grown beyond that and needed to face reality by moving to NY.
Jaime: It's that thing when you say out loud what you have been harbouring deep inside... It means you have to move on.
4. The first story Walls tells of her childhood is that of her burning herself severely at age three, and her father dramatically takes her from the hospital: "You're safe now" (p. 14). Why do you think she opens with that story, and how does it set the stage for the rest of the memoir?
GENEVIEVE: Well it is a shocking story and obviously she is safer in the hospital than with them as she was so unsupervised. But on the other hand you have to admire the level of independence and initiative that experiences such as this gave Jeannette.
Michelle: To me that story highlights their unique style of crazy, and their lovely strong family bond - as if there was nothing worse than being apart.
Mel: It encapsulates just how reckless the Walls parents were with their kids safety, but yet also demonstrates that being with her parents and siblings was exactly what Jannette n wanted.
Jane: I think Walls had that sort of hero worship that many girls have for their dads. It demonstrates that her dad was reckless, but still had an incredible love for his family and tried to do what he thought was right (even though he was so off the mark).
Sharyn: I think that scene illustrates just how delusional and irresponsible the parents (and in particular the father) were in the sense that they thought their way of life was best for the kids and thought that they were on some higher intellectual and spiritual level than everyone else. As parents, they were unconventional and anti-authoritarian and had an 'us versus them' mentality.
Amy: This story reveals how irresponsible Jeannette's parents are and their obscure mentality towards the rest of the world.
Jaime: It demonstrates to me one of Rex's great strengths, creating a bond that considering the circumstances should not be there, from his charisma and penchant for the dramatic.
Lara: I think that despite everything (and there was certainly a lot), it demonstrates that she believes her parents, and in particular, her dad loved her and tried to protect her in his way. It highlights the contradictions rife in her background.
5. Rex Walls often asked his children, "Have I ever let you down?" Why was this question (and the required "No, Dad" response) so important for him — and for his kids? On what occasions did he actually come through for them?
Michelle: I'm not sure that he ever really came through for them. Maybe a few times in the early days, like when he bought the bikes? And detoxed? Rex Walls was such a sad character - he didn't want to be what he was, and hated himself for it.
Mel: Starting a detox and getting the kids hopes up for a sober dad only to go back to the bottle was the biggest let down in my opinion. Financially he did come through for Jeannette quite late in the piece when she didn't think that she would have enough for her tuition. Makes you wonder why he couldn't have contributed more often throughout the years if he was able to find the money on that occasion.
Jane: I think he came through for them in many ways even though he had his demons. Alcoholism is a disease and I think it is easy to admonish people for 'going back to the bottle.' I think he tried, I really do think that. I think he loved his family to bits, but was just so flawed that he couldn't carry out his promises on so many occasions. But I did love some of the things he did (like the Christmas star thing that I've mentioned above).
Sharyn: Despite his unconventional ways, I think that the father viewed himself in the traditional way as the head of the family and the provider. He desperately wanted his kids to affirm that role time and time again so that he could continue living this lie to himself and in the process retain some sort of dignity and self respect. As Jane said, I think he tried because he loved his family but he was just too flawed. As Mel said, he did come through with Jeannette when he gave her the money so that she could finish college.
Amy: It was important for Rex's survival that his kids believed in him. I believe he wanted to provide for them and be a good father but most often his alcoholism got the better of him creating a huge amount of shame that only served to perpetuate his condition. Despite this I believe Rex taught his kids to hope and dream for the future, he instilled a great love of learning, taught them to read and encouraged them to explore nature, astronomy. Interesting that Jeannette in one of her interviews attributes a strong self esteem to her father as well.
Jaime: I hated that he made his kids do this although I acknowledge it was necessary for the emotional wellbeing of all concerned. His lack of acknowledgment of his significant failings over and over was to me almost worse than the failings themselves.
6. Jeannette's mother insists that, no matter what, "life with your father was never boring" (p. 288). What kind of man was Rex Walls? What were his strengths and weaknesses, his flaws and contradictions?
GENEVIEVE: He was a fascinating character, a charming rogue. It was touching how Jeannette was his great defender despite that fact he let her down so often.
Michelle: I wonder if he was really actually an autodidact or just gave the impression of it? Did he really know all the things he claimed to? Was he even a good electrician? I couldn't quite figure that out about him - so i guess part of his charm was his mystery.
Mel: Rex appears as a complex and tortured man. Jeannette allures to the idea that her dad may have been sexually abused by his own mother, and based on what she presents of him she is very possibly correct. Jeannette writes about him in a loving manner for the vast majority of the book and for the most part he does come across as a 'charming rogue' as Gen says. However, I can't help but feel a distinct lack of sympathy for a man who chooses to keep his family in abject poverty and is comfortable with practically pimping out his daughter to earn a few bucks.
Jane: Agreed, I think he was an absolutely fascinating character - flawed, mad, imaginative, creative, charming, naughty, frustrating. As I said before I think he had his demons but I think he loved his kids and his wife. I don't think being poor money wise actually did the most harm... in fact I am of the opinion that if kids get everything given to them on a platter that it is not necessarily a good thing.
Lynne: Rex was probably abused in his childhood so he was behind the 8 ball in that respect. I think he was a great storyteller and a great bluffer and his naive children/wife believed everything he told them. He was a total bastard for drinking all their money away and leaving the kids starving, living in squalor etc. I did not like him at all.
Lara: To me he was the ultimate flawed hero. Jeannette always wanted to believe in him as he was larger than life and they had a special bond, but in the end his flaws were too great to truly allow her to rely on him as a parent. Their relationship was beautiful in many ways, but that made his sad descent into being the complete child in the relationship even harder to handle.
7. Discuss Rose Mary Walls. What did you think about her description of herself as an "excitement addict"? (p. 93).
GENEVIEVE: She was also fascinating but I found her less likeable than the father. I am not sure why this is as they were equally as negligent as parents, maybe it was because she was so the opposite of what a 'mother' should be.
Michelle: I had thought of her as a women dominated by her husband, and she didn't seem to have a lot of charm or 'fun' stories in the book. But I watched a youtube clip of Jeannette with her and realised that she was really quite odd herself.
Mel: I thought that her description of herself as an 'excitement addict' was such a pathetic excuse for living in a childish existence when she was an adult with real and important responsibilities. She was less likable than Rex, but of course men just 'get away' with so much more. So where as Rex could get away with his antics to an extent because he was a 'tortured genius', Rose Mary came across as uncaring and irresponsible.
Jane: I second Genevieve's statement word for word.
Sharyn: Wow, I am surprised everyone thinks the father was more likeable than the mother! Notwithstanding his lovable qualities, he was a man who visited prostitutes, tried to prostitute his daughter, behaved violently and threatening towards his wife, left his children alone in the care of his mother who (we assume) sexually abused him as a child, spent all the family money on alcohol and was a largely absent father. The mother was by no stretch of the imagination a role model parent, but I thought she was slightly more reliable than the father and tried a bit harder to support the family (e.g. by pursuing her artistry and taking on teaching roles from time to time). She was more industrious than the father (the house was always filled with artwork) and she had a positive effect on one of the siblings (Lori) who pursued a career in art. Although it was misguided, I thought the little pep talks / life lessons that she would give the kids were amusing (e.g. telling Jeannette 'good for you for getting back in the saddle' after the fire incident).
Genevieve: Yes it is weird when you put it like that Sharyn! But I thought that because the dad seems to have genuine affection for the children (especially Jeannette) whereas the mother just seemed so horrifyingly selfish.
Amy: I wonder whether she has a narcissistic personality disorder? It would be interesting to read Jeannette's next book which I believe is about her Grandmother. It might explain her mother a little better. Her comment about being an 'excitement addict' just seems so irresponsible and childish. There were however a few times throughout the book that I appreciated her optimistic perspective on things.
Jane: Oh, it does sound odd with that description, Sharyn. But I still had greater empathy for the father. Amy, I do think she has narcissistic tendencies. It irked me that she kept kind of blaming the kids on the fact that she wasn't a famous and successful artist as though they'd held her back.
Lynne: another person to dislike. Selfishly buying art supplies instead of food. Ughh, don't get me started!
Jaime: I didn't like either of her parents but found them equally flawed. Her mother was very childlike to me. I guess somehow I hoped that her Mum would at some point make a change for a better life for her children but I never expected that from Rex as he was so clearly a lost cause. To Mel's point I am not sure if that is because men get away with more or if it is because I feel women are the ones more likely to do 'the right' thing with less self interest.
Lara: As I read the book I never felt as close to the mother as I did the father, but I think that's largely because that is how Jeannette herself felt too. I appreciated her creativity, optimism and "tough love" at times, but it also was so extreme and naive at times that I couldn't handle it. I thought it was interesting when Rex ended up asking Jeannette for money repeatedly and she saw what her mom had been dealing with over the years. I did find it so frustrating when her mom wouldn't get out of bed to go to her teaching job - which would have at least brought in money for the family. She frustrated me, as did Rex, but almost more because of what she didn't do than what he did do.
8. Though it portrays an incredibly hardscrabble life, The Glass Castle is never sad or depressing. Discuss the tone of the book, and how do you think that Walls achieved that effect?
GENEVIEVE: Yes I though that was an impressive achievement and also how she did not really judge her parents actions she just let them speak for themsselves and you had to imagine their impact.
Michelle: I think Jeannette maintains a positive feeling because throughout everything they really always stuck together. Her parents did genuinely love each other and their children - they just did everything differently to 'normal'.
Mel: And this is where I get confused in my generally hardline unsympathetic view of Jeannette's parents, because it was very possibly her life with them that helped instill in her the optimistic and grounded world view that makes this book not fall into a woe is me monologue.
Jane: I think Walls has a natural writing style that is quite upbeat. This could have been a very different book if she had a 'woe is me, I had a horrible upbringing' type voice. But she didn't. She is funny in the telling of her sometimes unbelievable stories. And I think she appreciates certain aspects of her life. It was certainly pretty exciting at times, despite the neglect.
Amy: It was such an enjoyable read and I thought Walls's decision to write through the non-judgemental eyes of a child set the tone. Interesting listening to her being interviewed that she attempted writing her story over 3 decades.
Lynne: all I could tune into was the misery. I struggled to find light or joy in this book. Perhaps some 'relief' at the end when the 3 oldest kids seemed to be able to make sense of their lives but this was countered by Maureen falling apart.
Jaime: Is it true to say that the book or their lives are never sad or depressing? I really don't think so! The narrative is not self pitying but that doesn't make it less sad for me.
Lara; I liked Jane's point on this above. In the book and in some of the online interviews, I think Jeannette has come to terms with her upbringing and while she sees the flaws, has moved on and realises that it makes her who she is today. I liked seeing Rose Mary in two of the videos because it seems like Jeannette has become closer to her mother and at least tries to understand her although they will always be very different.
9 Describe Jeannette's relationship to her siblings and discuss the role they played in one another's lives.
GENEVIEVE: The relationship Jeannette has with her brother is very touchingly portrayed. Clearly they were all damaged by their childhood experiences.
Michelle: The three older siblings seem to have survived because of each other and their unique bond - but there isn't much said about the youngest girl. I wouldn't be surprised if her perspective on things was completely different.
Mel: What a beautiful relationship she had with her brother in particular. I found it especially touching when he saved up money so that his two big sisters could 'escape' to New York even though he wasn't going with them yet. Interesting that he ended up as a policeman. The exact type of person that his dad hated. Why the Walls kept having children is beyond me seeing as though they really didn't give them the time and love and security that they needed - but thank goodness that they did - imagine being an only child with those two as your parents. Unbearable.
Jane: Yep, Michelle, I agree. I feel as though the older kids had to stick by each other to combat the craziness of their parents. They provide stability for eachother amidst the madness.
Genevieve: Also the youngest one seemed to really have suffered the most and was the most neglected which explains why she is estranged.
Mel: Yes, by the time Maureen was born the adventure was over and it was just etching out the tough life in West Virginia. Rex was absent most of the time and drunk when he was home, and Rose was totally in her own selfish world, so Maureen spent all her time at friends houses. She was not connected to the family in the same way as the older kids were.
Amy: Jeannette seemed to have such a healthy admiration for her sister; her beauty, intelligence and artistic talent. I thought she seemed closest to her brother and was disappointed and felt guilty for not taking better care of Maureen. Jeannette assumed what 'should' have been Rose Mary's responsibility. A huge burden for Jeannette to bear when so young.
Lynne: thank god they had each other. To see how close she was to her siblings was probably the nicest part of the book.
Jaime: Agree with Lynne.
Lara: Agree with many of the sentiments above. Brian and Jeannette had a very special bond and it was beautiful to see them work through things together. In many ways though, I think it was her relationship with Lori, whose relationship with Rose Mary was a mirror of Jeannette's relationship with Rex, that was the most interesting - I think they got closer as they got older and realised that they had to take the leadership roles in the family.
10. In college, Jeannette is singled out by a professor for not understanding the plight of homeless people; instead of defending herself, she keeps quiet. Why do you think she does this?
GENEVIEVE: She is embarrassed by her story and also it is hard to explain as it seems just too unlikely.
Mel: She is embarrassed and probably also protective of her upbringing. It is hard enough for her to make sense of, let alone have others critique at an intellectual, abstract level.
Jane: Too long a story, I reckon. Maybe that's why she wrote this book - to tell the professor to stick it up her arse and not judge people on first appearances. We all have pasts after all.
Genevieve: I like this theory Jane! It is interesting that the author included it and obviously this incident hurt her and she remembered it well.
Amy: I think at that point in time, shame is what keeps her quiet. This shame is apparently why she took 3 decades to write the book.
Lynne: I just watched Oprah on Youtube talking about how you should "tell your secret so you can let the shame out, because shame acts like a veil that blocks you from being true to you"...or some other self-help mumbo jumbo. I think I watched the wrong Youtube clips!
Jaime: I think she already felt quite self conscious about being different from other college students so the last thing she wanted to do was to highlight it. Also perhaps because she realised her views on homelessness were coloured by her parents and they were not representative of all homeless people?
11. The two major pieces of the memoir — one half set in the desert and one half in West Virginia — feel distinct. What effect did such a big move have on the family — and on your reading of the story? How would you describe the shift in the book's tone?
GENEVIEVE: I found the section where the parents left them in Virginia very upsetting as their life their seemed so much worse and more depressing coompared to when they lived in the desert.
Michelle: Yes the book shifted to be much darker and unhappy, much like the description of the weather and town. But perhaps it also reflected Jeannette becoming older and more aware of her parents deficiencies? Her younger years seemed happier by contrast but that could be because she was a young child who assumed her parents were doing the right thing for her? Surely it wasn't actually that nice sweltering in a rotted out house surrounded by gangs, maybe the cabin in the mountain had fresh air and trees?
Mel: I agree with Michelle that the years spent in West Virginia was when Jeannette was at an age to understand that there life wasn't normal and really wasn't ok. What a hell hole that town was. I kept urging Rex and Rose to do a 'skaddadle' but they really got stuck there.
Jane: Yes, I think the earlier times were more exciting, more adventurous for the children. It seemed like they were all in it together. West Virginia was different in that they all seemed a bit stuck and that hole was what life was going to be. Rex's family in West Virginia were nasty pieces of work and meeting them did help explain Rex's behaviour a bit more. I did love the description of the decrepit house they all lived in once they'd moved from Rex's family's hellhole.
Genevieve: Jane I agree the description of the house as it fell down around them was very vivid, I could almost smell the rotting damp!!
Lynne: there was a huge change, almost like falling out of the frying pan and into the depths of hell. West Virginia was such a bad place for all of them, especially Rex. When he and Rosemary left to go back to Arizona to get some stuff I honestly thought they would not come back. Their life in the desert at least had some good parts and they seemed much happier there. West Virginia was dark and cold and depressing and small-minded and I had a feeling that they were doomed from the minute they arrived. I was pleased to see them all prove me wrong and get out of there eventually.
Lara: Do you think that they would have ended up in New York if they hadn't had to deal with Welch? It was really like two separate books. In Welch, you see how bad it really gets for the family and the making of Jeannette's steely determination to get out.
12. Were you surprised to learn that, as adults, Jeannette and her siblings remained close to their parents? Why do you think this is?
GENEVIEVE: No I wasn't really surprised as you could see they were always close in an unconventional way. Their parents clearly loved them.
Michelle: I was surprised. It seemed like Jeannette was a totally different person in New York. I imagine writing the book would have helped her become closer to her parents.
Mel: Even though I was appalled at how the Walls treated their children on many occasions, I was not really surprised that they all (except for the youngest) remained in contact. I guess that I just cannot fathom estrangement, although of course I know that it does happen.
Jane: There was always love in the Walls family.
Lynne: Yeah, it is surprising. It would have been very easy to grow resentful and then cut them off all together (probably what I would do!), so credit to them for understanding that theirs was a unique situation and there was more to be gained from forgiveness than condemnation. I still think I would have condemned them...
Jaime: Yes, I was suprised. I am with Lynne on this.
Lara: I thought it was indicative of the family bond when the parents show up in New York. I think Jeannette struggled to figure out how to deal with and relate to her parents there, but she also had a strong sense of loyalty despite all the hardships.
13. What character traits — both good and bad — do you think that Jeannette inherited from her parents? And how do you think those traits shaped Jeannette's life?
Michelle: She seems to be a charming storyteller like Rex. I really liked her parents questioning about who she was, and their being unimpressed with her fancy apartment and lots of money - and how she took that on board and wrote the book.
Jane: Storytelling, creativity, arts!
Lynne: resilience, optimism, acceptance and whatever the opposite of snobbery is.
14. For many reviewers and readers, the most extraordinary thing about The Glass Castle is that, despite everything, Jeannette Walls refuses to condemn her parents. Were you able to be equally nonjudgmental?
GENEVIEVE: It was pretty hard to not be shocked by some of the things that happened. But on the other hand it was fascinating to read an account so opposite to the millions of books/blogs that exist today about how to be a good parent !
Michelle: I felt like I am doing an AWESOME job at being a mum!!!! I am able to be nonjudgmental about her parents as i can see that Jeannette is ok now. However, if I knew them when they were kids and saw how they lived I know I would be very, very judgmental.
Mel: Jeannette briefly mentions that there was another baby who died at 9 months. The children were told that it was 'cot death'. In my mind I see a neglectful situation reminiscent (but not quite as harrowing) as the dead baby scene in "Trainspotting". So yeah, I judged.
Jane: Knowing how she turned out, I kind of admire them all in a way. I admire the kids sticking together. I admire the parents going against the grain, being a bit mad. I just don't know what makes a good parent really - obviously the Walls parents did some outrageous things, but they also exposed their children to some very decent aspects of life - lack of materialism, adventure, imagination, the ability to not care about image and what other people think.
Genevieve: Yes Jane I agree. Rex reminded me somewhat of stories I have heard about my grandfather- a schemer, dreamer, philosopher, inventor, self-taught scientist and engineer and storyteller with a passion for learning and a rejection of a conventional life. However for my dad this meant a itinerent childhood of poverty and as a result he craved predictability and control. I gave this book to my mum to read and it reminded her a lot of her father (my other grandfather), a big drinking, big hearted, great storytelling but unpredictable man who loved his family above all but didn't always do the best by them. So anyway all this family history made me think that maybe this book captures the story of many men of that generation.
Jane: Ok, Genevieve, that is your cue to write about your grandfather!
Lynne: see answer to 12.
Jaime: I judged them. Not finding the strength to move beyond thinking only of your own needs and whims when you are responsible for children is unforgivable in my eyes... recall I am not a parent so maybe not qualified to make that bold statement?
Amy: I too judged them for their neglectful and selfish parenting. At the same time I admired them for those decent aspects Jane mentions above.
Lara: I tried to be fair in line with Jeannette - of course she judged too and made her choice to get out, but she also saw beauty and admired certain aspects of her upbringing. There were a few situations though that I don't know how you couldn't judge both as a parent as simply as a human being. I was also struck often by how you never really know what happened in someone else's life to bring them to where they are today. If you just met Jeannette Walls in a business setting, you would have no idea of her journey and that's what I love about memoirs.
Jane: Love this sentiment, Lara. All the judgement should come down to Jeannette - she is the one that lived it.
15. Is there anything else that you would like to say/ask about the book that has not been addressed in the questions above?
Michelle: I've tried discussing this book with a few American friends and discovered that the words 'Glass Castle' make me very aware of my Australian drawl! I feel like I'm saying Glarrrrrrrsssss Carrrrstle and even though I try, I can't pronounce it any other way! Embarrassing.
Mel: Hmmm perplexing... how you do say Glass Castle Lara? I have just said it out loud 10 times and do sound a lot like Pauline Hanson (terrifyingly red neck ex Australian politician)
Lynne: I think I may have been a bit harsh on the book. Forgive me. They really are an amazing bunch of kids to have survived that upbringing.
Lara: Too funny. I think we could post some videos of us all saying "Glass Castle". I recommend stressing the "ass" in 'Glass' and "Cas-" for a true American effect. Thanks for the honest and insightful comments. If I ever finished a book early, I'd be interested in reading Wall's most recent book, "Broken Horses" about her mother's mother in Arizona in the 30's/40's - she sounds like a bit of a badass. Also, the Glass Castle movie comes out in December so there's another reason I'm glad to have read the book now.
Jane: There is going to be a movie? Wow. I really hope they get the casting right.